you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
only you would photoshop your dick
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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