I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
