I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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