Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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