Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
