btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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