I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
