I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
