thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
