Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
