Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize