Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
