I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize