You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
