let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
