I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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