I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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