I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
