Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
