tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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