you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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