I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
