Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
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