addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize