I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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