i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
