fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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