you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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