So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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