the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Randomize
