Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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