you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
