Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
