it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
