Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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