I must be too annoying 4 u.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
