her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
