You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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