I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
