I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
