Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
