so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
