Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
