You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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