He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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