Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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