im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
