I want to have your abortion
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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