he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize