What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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