Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
