i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
