But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
