my sisters under your porch take her home
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
