remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
sex in a hospital.. check
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
