Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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