Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
