I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
