my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
