so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
