i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
