Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
