Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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