I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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